Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Eskimos Call Me Ahab

I go fish. Not in the card sense. In the literal sense. The past tense would be I have fished. And that will be on Saturday. That is when it will be past tense, not when I go fish. I fish for whales. I am scared of deep water, so I may stay in the bay, okay? You might think my luck for whales wouldn't be good in the bay. You'd be wrong, as usual. I catch bay whales left and right. And up and down. And all around. Just about any direction you can high five, I catch whales. They make for the best eating. And good skins too. The eskimos use them for everything: shirts, hats, bats, meat, treats, meat treats, weapons, shoes, hair, mustaches, pepperoni, soup, sour mash malt liqour, and video tapes. They also make excellent telephone covers...for the eskimos' cell phones. They're all the rage. I once saw a eskimos kill more eskimos for a bay whale cell phone cover. At least, I think that is what it was for. Maybe it was because the eskimos was a polar bear. I forget. Back to the bay whales, they weigh about 2000 grams. That's a lot. They'll bite near about anything. But mostly a worm or a tin can. They aren't picky. I caught a bay whale one day that fed me for a whole meal. And that's no exaggeration. Some people call them bass. I call them bay whales. And they call me Ahab.


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