Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Who's Buying Scary These Days?


Scary is one thing that I think should be done more often. You shouldn't underestimate the power of scary. For instance, if you needed a building moved, scary could get that done for you. It would almost be like a credit card of sorts. It also goes well with grilled cheese. People should invest in scary. I'd buy a share. As a matter of fact, as of this minute, I'm a scary broker. Who's gonna pay? I'm taking bids. 4-5-4-5-4-5-4-5-4-7 million! Sold to the man in the clown mask. He must be a collector. Or a professional, which should never ever be underestimated, either. I remember one day on my job, which is obviously a auctioneer/broker, I was selling a pre-owned hatchet, complete with sharpening blade, 0% APR, no money down. This kid was messing around with the hatchet. My scary professional friend, Scarasaurus, snuck up behind this clown (by clown, I'm using a derogatory term for the kid, not an actual clown, which then would be scary v. scary, which could never happen because the earth would explode of all the scary.). Scarasaurus stands about 50 feet tall and has beeeeeg teeeeeth. Come to think of it, he's a carnivore. I've seen him rip the head right off a mastadon. And there's another thing you don't see everyday. You might think that was scary, but it wasn't. Being a scary broker, I'm used to these things. Remind me one day to tell you the scariest thing I've ever seen. It involved a honey bee and a 18 wheeler. And a jar of pigs feet. That honey bee thanks his lucky chyarms these days.

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