Thursday, November 04, 2004

The Man who Saved Lions


Did you know the man who saved lions? They weren't new lions, more like secondhand ones. Hand me downs. The kind that have ragged fur and are missing an eye. Some think that he was the inspiration from the recent movie, with the same name. The ones who think that need to understand one thing, he wasn't. No one would ever want to write a movie about this guy. He's the kind of guy who you would think, "Hey, I would never want to write a screenplay about that guy." He is a real piece of work. Great with the felines though. The secondhand ones, anyway. The new ones hate him with a passion. That's why they mauled him that day when he tried to save them. Convert them, I mean. He has a strange idea that he can change new lions into secondhand ones by tearing their fur and poking out one of their eyes. With a corncob. That's why they called him Corncob Rob. He would wield the lions with a corncob in one hand and a Bible in the other. All the while screaming, "Vertigo bertyflush. I like slipperymush." Quite an obscene scene to be seen it would seem. Sean should rhyme with seen, but it doesn't. Ever call someone name Sean, Seen? They'll get mad. And stab you in the eye with a corncob. Stupid Seen. Now I'm blind in one eye, smell of corn, and can't stop blathering about converting lions that I've seen. Here's the song I crong: "Samer lamer borjerty bong. Wallerty day and awlfly long."

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